Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day, a national holiday devoted to gratitude. As we traveled to visit with family, I thought of a church member from my ministry in California, Missouri. Karen taught her adult Sunday School class a profound lesson about gratitude. She suggested that we use "grateful for" rather than "proud of" in our daily speech. That lesson changed how I think and speak. It has shaped my spirit.
When we say, "I'm proud of you," the words may be spoken from a position of superiority and judgment. It may be a compliment that comes with strings attached--a way to control another person: "I am proud of you now, and I will expect even more from you in the future." It's an egotistical expression.
On the other hand, to say, "I'm grateful for you," sounds more sincere and genuine to me. It may spoken from a place of humility--a more egalitarian place. It is spoken by one who is not my superior but my companion and my friend, one who understands and appreciates me, one who is on the level with me. It opens the door for further conversation.
Language matters. That idyllic scene with Pilgrims and Native peoples sitting down together for the first Thanksgiving dinner is not about pride but about gratitude. They were grateful for the companionship and the cooperation. They were grateful to God who brought them together and provided for them abundantly. This picture is one that we might well transpose in other times with other peoples--where we share the table as both host and guest. It is true communion, a table of grace and gratitude.
Today, I am grateful for those who have taught me and shaped my spirit. I remember companions on the journey . . . with a thankful heart. I am grateful for you.
When we say, "I'm proud of you," the words may be spoken from a position of superiority and judgment. It may be a compliment that comes with strings attached--a way to control another person: "I am proud of you now, and I will expect even more from you in the future." It's an egotistical expression.
On the other hand, to say, "I'm grateful for you," sounds more sincere and genuine to me. It may spoken from a place of humility--a more egalitarian place. It is spoken by one who is not my superior but my companion and my friend, one who understands and appreciates me, one who is on the level with me. It opens the door for further conversation.
Language matters. That idyllic scene with Pilgrims and Native peoples sitting down together for the first Thanksgiving dinner is not about pride but about gratitude. They were grateful for the companionship and the cooperation. They were grateful to God who brought them together and provided for them abundantly. This picture is one that we might well transpose in other times with other peoples--where we share the table as both host and guest. It is true communion, a table of grace and gratitude.
Today, I am grateful for those who have taught me and shaped my spirit. I remember companions on the journey . . . with a thankful heart. I am grateful for you.
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