Well, I'm almost ready to disengage for awhile. The past seventy-two hours have been intense with trying to get as much done as I can before I leave. I promised to communicate when I came to interview with the search committee five years ago; and I have tried to be diligent about keeping my word. It is a promise I take seriously. I also want to be accessible to all our members and friends. I try hard, but cannot do it all the time. Ultimately, this ministry is about being in touch and in tune with God. Amid the frantic rushing of our lives, work itself can become idolatrous. Losing myself in the next email or phone call or appointment . . . is this living? Is this really what God hopes for us?
A dear friend, whose father was a gifted German Evangelical pastor--one of my predecessor pastors in California, Missouri--gave me a copy of A Diary of Private Prayer by John Baillie as I was preparing to move to New Hampshire. Dorothy said the little devotional book was beside her father's chair in the days of his declining health "as a daily friend."
I, too, have cherished this book--this gift from my friend, although my reading of it has been sporadic. There is, however, one petition in a morning prayer that has spoken to the depths of my spirit: "O God, give me grace so to live this day that, whatever else I lose, I may not lose my soul." In the midst of many loses, may I not lose my soul. In the midst of many meetings and so many opportunities for ministry, may I not lose my soul. Beyond the frantic rush of life, may there be sabbath seasons of quiet and rest, that I may not lose my soul.
Time to disengage and rest . . . .
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