In the United Church of Christ Ministerial Code, those who serve in the church make this promise: "Relying on the grace of God, I covenant with my ministry setting to preach and teach the gospel without fear or favor, regarding all persons with equal respect and concern, and undertaking to minister impartially."
I have seen the destructive effects of breaking this promise. In times of conflict, pastors are tempted to sort a congregation into camps--my supporters verses my detractors, my friends verses my foes. Moving beyond ministering "impartially" can have a devastating impact on a church for decades to come. It is not only unwise to have friends in the church; it is unprofessional and unethical.
I am thinking a lot about friendship this week because the gospel text from John 15:9-17 is about friendship with Jesus. He says, "I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father" (Jn. 15:15, NRSV). Friendship with Jesus is to be drawn into the circle of awareness. Friends are trusted. They receive full disclosure of what God is doing.
I can remember a pastor who went to lunch every week with the same couples in the congregation. There was a specialness and familiarity in the relationship that did not extend to other members. I do not know the level of conversation that occurred in those weekly lunches, but there was the appearance of closeness and friendship. I suspect that those friends of the pastor were more deeply aware of things that were happening. They may also have had first-hand knowledge of their pastor's heart. As a young member in the church, I was never included in those table conversations. I was not invited. How does one undertake to "minister impartially" in such a scenario?
Here's what I believe to be faithful to the code of conduct: I will be friendly toward all and to be present with all for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but I cannot be the friend of a few. Ministering impartially means that all receive my time and attention. All are respected and have a right to expect that I will be available for counsel and care. All can trust that I will maintain appropriate professional boundaries and keep confidences. My sermons are not preached to win friends or to ostracize enemies.
I am writing this today to reflect and to remind myself of my calling, for it is a high and challenging calling. It would be far easier, to say, "These are my friends, my advocates, my benefactors in ministry. I will allow their insights and influence to shape my ministry." For the sake of the church that is and will yet be, I will be friendly, but I cannot be a friend.
I have seen the destructive effects of breaking this promise. In times of conflict, pastors are tempted to sort a congregation into camps--my supporters verses my detractors, my friends verses my foes. Moving beyond ministering "impartially" can have a devastating impact on a church for decades to come. It is not only unwise to have friends in the church; it is unprofessional and unethical.
I am thinking a lot about friendship this week because the gospel text from John 15:9-17 is about friendship with Jesus. He says, "I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father" (Jn. 15:15, NRSV). Friendship with Jesus is to be drawn into the circle of awareness. Friends are trusted. They receive full disclosure of what God is doing.
I can remember a pastor who went to lunch every week with the same couples in the congregation. There was a specialness and familiarity in the relationship that did not extend to other members. I do not know the level of conversation that occurred in those weekly lunches, but there was the appearance of closeness and friendship. I suspect that those friends of the pastor were more deeply aware of things that were happening. They may also have had first-hand knowledge of their pastor's heart. As a young member in the church, I was never included in those table conversations. I was not invited. How does one undertake to "minister impartially" in such a scenario?
Here's what I believe to be faithful to the code of conduct: I will be friendly toward all and to be present with all for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but I cannot be the friend of a few. Ministering impartially means that all receive my time and attention. All are respected and have a right to expect that I will be available for counsel and care. All can trust that I will maintain appropriate professional boundaries and keep confidences. My sermons are not preached to win friends or to ostracize enemies.
I am writing this today to reflect and to remind myself of my calling, for it is a high and challenging calling. It would be far easier, to say, "These are my friends, my advocates, my benefactors in ministry. I will allow their insights and influence to shape my ministry." For the sake of the church that is and will yet be, I will be friendly, but I cannot be a friend.
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